Hug Your Husband

Perspective is an interesting concept. There are such small shifts in our perspective throughout life that most of the time it is barely noticeable; in effect, we take them for granted. But every once in awhile, an event occurs that shakes one so significantly that it is hard to remember where you started from.

Last Saturday we took Jared and the kids to San Francisco for Jared's birthday. We all rode on the train and then I took Jared shopping at H&M. After a fun lunch in Union Square, I took the rest of the kids home and Jared & Jeff stayed in the city for the Giants game. It was an 11 year old's dream day.

As the kids and I pulled into the driveway, my dad called to let me know that something terrible had happened: my brother-in-law had died in an accident. In an instant, the day went from a wonderful family day to the unimaginable.


Thoughout this week as our family has prepared for this day, the day of the memorial service, my mind has been all over the place. At one point, I was listed on the program to speak at the service. I generally do not have a problem speaking in public but the idea of containing these uncontrollable emotions in front of hundreds of people (especially since I am an admitted control freak) made me freak out a little bit.

Since there were more willing speakers, I was removed from the program. However, I had already composed the talk in my head. So although the obituary has been published, I write this here as a history of this time...


"I was introduced to the Keller family when I was in high school. Steve's younger brother and I went to Mitty High School together. During our senior year, my family decided to change dentists to Dr. James. Soon there after, Steve began to practice with his dad. On one occasion, I went and became aware that Steve was single. So being the wonderful, annoying little sister that I was, I encouraged Loni to meet the cute new single dentist. And that was the beginning of how the Keller and Schultz family came to be.

As Jeff and I were talking about Steve this week, Jeff came up with the image of a hummingbird, and I couldn't agree more. Steve was like a humming bird, in order to live, he had to remain in constant motion. This was a little difficult at times when we were at my parents' cabin or after a holiday meal. He would often ask, "What are we going to do?" Our response would be - RELAX! He would then be off to go to the grocery store, garden or make something in the kitchen.


Steve's constant motion made him the hit of every party and an incredibly successful dentist. He knew there was always something more to learn, someone to meet, or something fun to do. We can all take this from Steve - that there is always something more to do.

To my brother-in-law Steve, wonderful cook (which is now clearly lacking from the Schultz family), extraordinary dad, jokester, talented dentist, someone who always made you feel important when you were with him - we will miss you dearly. I promise to take care of Loni and the kids. Until we meet again."

I have dreaded this day coming for the last week because it means that all of this is indeed true. Unfortunately, we won't wake up to find that this was all just a bad dream. But as Jeff told me last night, I know it will give us closure to begin the new normal.


I am grateful for this new perspective. Life can change in an instant. Those that you take for granted may not always be here. As Steve did, I will try to live more! I am also reminded to hug my husband more.